It’s 4am, yet here I sit,
Waiting for my thoughts to quit,
Round and round they fly so free,
What caused you to do this to me?
I see you before me, so ethereal,
I try to touch you, but cannot feel,
The hole in my heart seems to grow,
With each line that I let flow,
The knife in my gut is twisting more,
With each piece that hits the floor,
My walls are crashing, I’m lashing out,
My love for you is beyond a doubt,
I wish it was fake, I wish I could hate,
Is this misery my only fate?
Why must you push the dagger so deep?
Can’t you see my life gathering at your feet?
I hate you for this; yet love you still,
I hate the pain; yet love the thrill,
What is pleasure without pain; pain without pleasure,
This is a question I shall not measure,
If I continue loving you, my soul will die,
Why must I ensure my demise?
Your words pierce through me like shards of glass,
Everything seems to be happening so fast,
I need to get escape, from you and the pain,
I need to control my heart, it refuses to be tame,
I need to hate you for everything you said,
But I love you too much, though I’d rather be dead.